Everyday Should Be Valentine's Day

Everyday Should Be Valentine’s Day

Why Isn’t Every Day Valentine’s Day?

A Pastoral Look at Love Beyond the Annual Sugar Rush

Every February 14, America performs its annual ritual of romantic repentance. Husbands who haven’t said “I love you” since who knows when suddenly appear with gas‑station roses. Couples who spent the last month arguing about the thermostat or what to watch on TV now exchange heart‑shaped chocolates. Even the most emotionally constipated among us feel compelled to produce at least one sentence of affection—usually in the form of a greeting card written by someone else.

For 24 hours, we become a nation of sentimental overachievers.

And then—on February 15—we go right back to normal.

And make no mistake: this one day of emotional performance is big business. Americans spent $27.5 billion on Valentine’s Day in 2025, and spending is projected to reach $27.7 billion in 2026. Some estimates even suggest spending could top $29.1 billion in the near future. It’s the fifth‑largest spending holiday in the country—proof that we’re willing to buy love at least once a year.

But Scripture has the audacity to ask a question Hallmark never prints on a card:

Why isn’t every day Valentine’s Day?

Not the commercial version.

Not the Cupid‑with‑a‑bow version.

The biblical version.

The version that looks like covenant, sacrifice, fidelity, and daily cruciform love.

The Real Valentine Wouldn’t Recognize Our Holiday

If the original St. Valentine walked into a modern Valentine’s Day aisle, he’d probably assume he’d wandered into a pagan temple dedicated to sugar, sentimentality, and plush bears the size of small refrigerators.

The historical Valentine was a priest who secretly married Christian couples under persecution. He wasn’t handing out candy hearts; he was performing weddings in the shadows, defying an emperor, and eventually dying for it.

In other words, Valentine’s Day began with martyrdom, not merchandising.

The early church honored Valentine not by buying chocolate but by imitating his courage. Love wasn’t a seasonal emotion; it was a daily act of costly obedience.

Which brings us to the Bible’s version of love—something far more demanding than a once‑a‑year romantic performance.

Biblical Love: The Daily Grind We Keep Trying to Outsource to a Holiday

The Bible refuses to let love be a holiday. It insists on making it a lifestyle.

1. Love is the greatest command—every day.

Jesus didn’t say, “Love God with all your heart… annually.”

He said:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” —Matthew 22:37 (ESV)

And:

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

These are not seasonal specials.

They are the Christian’s daily bread.

2. Love is the Christian brand—every day.

Jesus didn’t say, “They will know you are my disciples by your Valentine’s Day enthusiasm.”

He said:

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Not once a year.

Not when it’s convenient.

Every day.

The Command We Avoid: Love Your Enemies

If Valentine’s Day feels demanding, Jesus raises the bar to a height no greeting‑card company dares to touch:

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” —Matthew 5:44 (ESV)

This is the part of biblical love we tend to file under “metaphorical,” “aspirational,” or “for monks and missionaries.”

But Jesus wasn’t speaking metaphorically.

He was speaking missionally.

And He makes the point unmistakably clear:

“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” —Matthew 5:46 (ESV)

“And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” —Luke 6:33 (ESV)

In other words:

Loving your family, your friends, and the people who already love you back is not uniquely Christian. Even sinners do that.

Loving people who love us back is easy.

Loving people who irritate us, oppose us, misunderstand us, or vote differently than us—that’s the kind of love that actually looks like Jesus.

And it’s the kind of love that would make Valentine’s Day unnecessary.

Imagine a world where Christians were known not for winning arguments but for blessing opponents.

Not for retaliating but for reconciling.

Not for canceling but for forgiving.

That kind of love doesn’t trend on social media.

But it turns heads.

It turns hearts.

It turns the world upside down.

The Four Loves: A Daily Workout, Not a Yearly Marathon

Valentine’s Day tends to worship eros—the romantic spark—while neglecting the other three biblical loves:

• Storge: the affection that folds laundry and remembers how you take your coffee

• Philia: the friendship that listens, forgives, and shows up

• Eros: the romance that makes your heart race

• Agape: the self‑giving love that lays down its life—even for enemies

A marriage—or any relationship—built on eros alone is like a house built entirely out of scented candles. It smells nice, but it collapses under pressure.

Biblical love is a daily workout of all four muscles.

Jesus’ Most Un‑Valentine’s Day Warning

Perhaps the most sobering commentary on love comes from Jesus Himself:

“I never knew you.”

In Scripture, “knowing” is covenant language—intimate, relational, ongoing.

Jesus isn’t impressed by occasional gestures of devotion.

He’s looking for a daily relationship of love, obedience, and trust.

A once‑a‑year spiritual Valentine’s Day won’t cut it.

So Why Isn’t Every Day Valentine’s Day?

Maybe because real love is harder than buying roses.

Real love:

• forgives seventy times seven

• prays for enemies

• carries crosses

• washes feet

• keeps no record of wrongs

• shows up when it’s inconvenient

• sacrifices when it’s costly

• loves when it doesn’t feel like it

Real love is not a holiday.

It’s a habit.

Valentine died because he believed love mattered every day.

Jesus died because He believed love mattered every day.

The early church lived—and died—because they believed love mattered every day.

So perhaps the real question isn’t why Valentine’s Day exists.

The real question is why we need it.

If Christians practiced biblical love daily—toward friends, neighbors, strangers, and yes, even enemies—the world wouldn’t need a holiday to remind it what love looks like.

It would see it in us—consistently, sacrificially, joyfully.

Every day would be Valentine’s Day.

And not because of Cupid.

Because of Christ.